I started having contractions on Saturday evening - about 12 minutes apart. Eric was very anxious, and wanting to time each one, but I knew it wasn't time yet. He even got up at one point and got dressed - all ready to go to the hospital. I was more calm, and just went to bed. I woke up the next morning around 7 and was feeling the contractions closer together - about 5 minutes. They weren't really painful, so I still wasn't too sure I was going into labor, but we called the emergency line anyways and talked to the on-call nurse. She said to give it another hour, to see if they became painful, and then call back. We waited, and like clockwork, the pain began. It was sometimes funny how I could be in the middle of a conversation and then just have to stop because of a contraction. We called back at 9am, and she told us to go to the hospital. We were excited to finally begin this journey!
We pulled up to the hospital, valeted the car, and walked in. We met our nurse, Linda, and she led us to our Labor and Delivery room. I got all hooked up, we called family, and the waiting began. Contractions were pretty much staying at 3 minutes apart, and my water still hadn't broken by the time my doctor came in for the third time, so she asked if I wanted her to break it. I told her I'd wait a little bit. Contractions were getting stronger, and I was worried about the pain once my water was broken. I asked my nurse later whether I should go ahead and get the epidural first before breaking my water, and she definitely recommended it, so I went ahead and got the epidural. I had always expected that to hurt, ad it really didn't. I felt AMAZING afterwards, and enjoyed several family members coming in to visit. My doctor came in and broke my water - weird feeling. I could definitely feel the gush. Afterwards, we waited. And waited. Contractions sped up, but at about 3pm, when my doctor came to check me, I was still only dilated at a 4, so they put me on pitocin. My parents made it around 8:00 pm, and I was beginning to feel extreme pain, especially in my back. I had already pushed the epidural button twice before, and I didn't like how much more numb it made me feel, but after coaxing from my nurse, and Eric, I pushed it again. I felt like maybe my back was just hurting because I had been laying on it for so long, so my nurse turned me over on my side. I couldn't help her at all...it was kinda funny. I would try to push up with my legs, but they would just slide to the side. Being on my side helped some, but only some. She flipped me over to my other side, and I held on to the rail, in such pain. My parents came in to see me, and I felt so bad I couldn't even talk to them I was in so much pain. They left, and we were really wondering where my doctor was. She hadn't checked me since the last time at 3, when I was at a 4, and my new nurse, April, wouldn't check me. She said my doctor liked to check herself (even though Linda, my first nurse checked me herself). By the time my doctor finally got there, I was apparently ready to push - with as much pain as I was in on the epidural, who knows how long I was ready!
I always thought I'd be terrified when this moment came, but this time, I was so ready, so determined to get that baby out, I didn't care. She told me some first time moms are pushing for 30 minutes to and hour - not this girl. I was determined to finish this. I had been in labor since 7 am. I was ready. I began pushing - of course couldn't feel a thing, which was weird, but she kept commenting on how good a pusher I was. She even made me take oxygen in between pushes - I didn't feel like I needed it, but I took it anyways. Finally, at 9:28 pm, Aiden was born. The nurse unbuttoned my gown so we could do skin-to-skin, they wiped him off, and laid him on my chest. This moment will forever be engrained in my mind as the most beautiful moment of it all. Even as I type, I am tearing up.
I remember Eric was beside me, peering over my head at him. We were both so happy to see him. Aiden was instantly calm when laid on my chest. He was laying, his face facing mine, and his sweet little hand laid on my chest. He opened his eyes, and just stared into mine. For the longest time, until they took him away. It was beautiful. As they were finishing up on me, I think I remember watching them take him over to clean him. Eric walked over there and watched and was calling to me things like "Baby, he's got Brown hair like me!" I laughed and like always told him his hair was black. It gets a little blurry from there.
The chaos began.
I remember Eric was holding Aiden sitting on the couch. I remember feeling emense pain, and lots of tugging down there. I remember asking my doctor if I tore and if she was just stitching me up. She said I had torn a little, but that it was a level 2 tear. She was massaging my belly. Hard. Over and Over. It began to hurt. Really Bad, and I began to wince, and writhe in pain. At this point, I remember Eric coming over to my bedside, holding Aiden, and my doctor Yelled at the nurses, "CAN SOMEONE GET HIM TO SIT DOWN WITH THAT BABY! HE'S GONNA FAINT SEEING ALL THIS BLOOD!"
Eric, turned, said "Alright Alright, I'm sitting"
It was then I knew something was not right. I noticed more nurses pouring in. Then my doctor yelled at the nurses:
"WHO TOOK HER EPIDURAL OUT?!"
The nurses all looked at each other, and didn't say a word, she kept asking, and a nurse said "I'm not sure who did it."
"WELL YOU WERE HERE WEREN'T YOU?!" My doctor snapped. I'd never heard her so angry, or stressed. I knew something was wrong. They called the anesthesiologist in.
I remember him saying "We're gonna have to put her to sleep!"
At this point I was in so much pain. I was writhing, tossing back and forth. My doctor asked if I was in terrible pain. I remember telling her to stop pushing my belly so much. It felt so bruised, and she kept pushing hard. She told me she had to, because my uterus wouldn't contract.
I remember her shouting orders of all sorts to the nurses to get different things. I remember more meds going into my IV. I began to feel sick. They asked if I was ok. I told them I was going to throw up. Immediately a pan appeared by my face, and, as if on cue, I puked what little I had in me. I laid back, and began shaking. Uncontrollably. I remember them telling me they were putting anti-nausea meds in my IV. I remember a sweet new face, the same one who brought the pan, placing a warm blanket on me to help with the shaking. My doctor stopped pressing. A new IV went into my left arm. They said they were taking me to the OR. I started to calm down, and things got very blurry, but all I could think about was Eric, sitting on the couch, holding his brand new baby, wide eyed. I remember giving him a thumbs up. I wanted him to know that I was ok. Then they wheeled me out. I later learned that they left Eric in the room all alone with Aiden until another nurse came in to clean up the blood. That makes me so sad to think about.
I remember seeing the hallway lights pass, but it was all so blurry. When I got into the OR, I remember seeing the big bright lights. I remember new faces - men- and not even caring that they were gonna see me naked. I was so out of it. I remember being lifted to another bed. They laid my arms out to my sides, and gave me what they said was Oxygen, but looking back, I wonder. I don't remember anything from the OR, except that my arms kept falling, and they kept putting them back.
They finished, transferred me to another bed, and rolled me out. I remember feeling so much better, but so tired, and SO VERY THIRSTY, like the most intense thirst ever. They took me to the C-Section recovery area. It was an area with "rooms" separated by curtains. April was still with me. I asked where Eric was, and she said she'd get him. He came in, and I remember being so incredibly happy to see him. He kissed me, and I told him I was so thirsty. He asked the nurse if I could have some water, and she said only Ice Chips. He got me some, and fed them to me. Those were the best tasting ice chips I'd ever had. I found out my parents couldn't come back there, so Eric had to tell them, and they left.
My doctor came in and told us that my Hemoglobin levels were still too low, and that I would need the next two units of blood. The next TWO?!! How many units had I had?! I really don't think I had realized I even got a blood transfusion until this point. April hooked up the first unit, and we waited. It drip. drip. dripped into the IV. We were going to be there forever, and poor Eric only had a chair to sit in. He had brought all our stuff down from our delivery room, so at least he had a pillow. My doctor came in and said to make it drip faster, and that helped some. The hospital pediatrician also came in while we were in there and said that Aiden was in the NICU because he was breathing a little too fast. Nothing to worry about, he assured us, they were just taking precautions. Of course I worried though. I hadn't hardly even seen him yet.
We finally finished with the second unit of blood around 5 am. We were so ready to get to a room and SLEEP! BUT April wouldn't let us go yet because she said our doctor wanted to be notified when we went to our room. She wasn't answering any pages - probably because it was 5 am, and she'd been on call all night. We waited and waited, until FINALLY April got a hold of her and told her they were moving me to a recovery room. We were so incredibly tired, especially Eric, who had just spent the night in a very uncomfortable chair.
We were so happy to be done with the craziness of that night, and so ready to get some sleep. Eric didn't even care that he had a very small couch to sleep on. We probably woke up around 8:30 the next morning, and I was so eager to see Aiden. I called the nurse, and asked if he could be brought to our room, and they said they were finishing tests on him, but that it would be soon.
They finally brought him to us later, and those first moments - just the three of us were precious, and I will never forget it.
The days in the hospital passed slowly for me. Because of my complications, I ended up staying an extra day. My blood pressure and HG levels were still not ideal. I was so ready to get home and start life with my precious little angel.
Aiden is just so incredibly perfect. We are so thankful to have him home with us, and to be starting this journey together. It was a rough start, and we couldn't be more thankful for the doctors and nurses who attended to Aiden and Me while we were there.
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| This picture was taken by Cristen when Eric and the nurse brought Aiden down to meet everyone in the waiting room. |
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| The wrerath I made and we hung on our door in the hospital. |
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| I took this our first morning with Aiden. A precious Daddy moment. |
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| My mom captured this one...one of my first moments with Aiden. |
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| Aiden in his going home outfit. |
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| Finally Home. Brinkley was excited. |
